When God writes your love story

Oct 28

To start, I’d like to say that every story is unique and not everyone moves on the same timeline. With that being said, after 10 years of searching and settling in toxic relationships, I met Travis in November 2021 and married him just 4 months later! Let me tell you, he is even more wonderful than anyone I could have ever hoped and prayed for. God has used every season of my life to teach me different lessons, but the greatest lesson by far that I’ve learned through meeting my husband has been that God’s timing and plan are truly perfect and whatever I am waiting for will be worth the wait. I pray that our story brings encouragement to anyone currently in a season of waiting.

“Wait for the LORD;

be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD”

PSALM 27:14

A little over two years ago I became a Christian and my dating standards changed, along with many other areas of my life. In the past I had struggled to be single or not “talking to” someone for any amount of time, so I prayed on and decided to spend an extended period of my walk with Christ committed to intentionally not dating anyone. I trusted that as I was faithful and committed in this “season of singleness,” God would reveal when the timing was right for me to start dating again. My intention for singleness was not to commit to myself, it was to be fully committed to growing deeper in my relationship with the Lord and to know Him better. As I began to grow in my faith, I started realizing and walking in my value as a daughter of the King & learning the importance of being equally yoked with another believer. My desires began to change; I wanted a man who loved Jesus more than he’d love me, a man who was a strong leader with integrity, a man who was bold in his faith & stood firm in his convictions. I also wanted a man who would be my best friend, a man who made me laugh and made life fun.

“But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness,

and all these things will be added to you.”

MATTHEW 6:33

As I was daily seeking the Lord’s heart, doors began flying open for me. A few months after being saved I had gotten my dream job at a church I loved, I was in a discipleship college and I was in the most amazing community I had ever been a part of. I had formed deep friendships and bonds with my new Christian community and I had even started going on a few dates, but as this was all happening, there was this constant whisper in my heart that was leading me to North Carolina. I prayed on the move often for 17 months until one day I finally felt a clear “go now” from the Lord. Over the next 8 days I packed up my life, said my goodbyes and drove across the country with no plan other than to live with my aunt & uncle in Southern Pines. The first 3 months in North Carolina were extremely hard for me. I felt depressed, lost, confused, and like I had potentially made a mistake. I was having a hard time making friends and I couldn’t find a job, but through those months I grew closer to the Lord, filling most of my days and nights with tear filled prayers and journal entries. Thank the Lord for my incredibly supportive and encouraging aunt and uncle during this time. It was through their encouragement and financial support that I was able to start this blog during those 3 months. When November came around my grandfather had a heart attack and I decided to move 2 hours away to Winston-Salem to be with him while he recovered.

I promise I’m getting to our love story part of this..

On Sunday November 14th, 9 days after Papa’s heart surgery I was on my way to visit him in the hospital and I decided to find a church service on my way. When I searched Google, Two Cities Church popped up; the service time was perfect and I quickly made my way over there. I sat alone behind a young couple and was really excited by how many people looked my age in this church since I was having a hard time making friends my age in Southern Pines. Worship started; we all stood up, and that’s when Travis walked in to sit with the couple in front of me. I wish I could explain the moment I first saw him, I was drawn to him in a way I’d never felt before. I could immediately see his love for life; it was almost as if I could feel it. I didn’t know who he was but I knew that he was the man I wanted to marry. I was way too shy to say anything to him so when church ended, I left. I called my friend and told her I needed to find out who this guy was & she told me “if he’s single, he’s probably on hinge” (thank you Erica and thank you to modern dating apps!) I downloaded hinge, set my location to Two Cities Church and throughout the day I swiped left until a few hours later… I found him! I liked his picture and he messaged me a few hours later. You guys, don’t worry- I know how creepy this sounds LOL. I am so grateful that he was flattered instead of creeped out when I told him that I sat behind him at church earlier that day and made hinge just to find him.

Our First Date…

Fast forward to December 4th, our first date. We had both been traveling for Thanksgiving and this was the first date we could meet. Something that I had decided when I started dating again was that I would not kiss anyone I wasn’t in an official relationship with, so I texted him earlier in the day to let him know that and we both felt like it took a lot of pressure off of both of our expectations and uncertainties. His response was sweet/funny and it was very refreshing to have my boundaries respected. We went to dinner (Italian, of course) and then went axe throwing. From the moment we sat down at dinner things felt so easy. One of the first things he said to me was “I usually go out with a girl 5 or 6 times before deciding if it will potentially lead to marriage or if I should end things.” I loved this so much. This was the most honest, up front, and intentional man I had ever met. We couldn’t stop talking, we didn’t order food for over an hour. The conversation was deep and lighthearted at the same time. We both loved Jesus, were passionate about the truth, and were on the same page with almost all of our beliefs- definitely the most important ones. I didn’t want the date to end, but naturally it did and I couldn’t wait to see him again. Unfortunately 2 days later I came down with covi-d and had to quarantine for 10 days.

Second, Third & Fourth Dates…

This brings us to December 16th and 17th, our second and third dates before Trav was leaving town for 2 weeks. These two dates were more casual hangouts, but we were still really intentionally about our conversations and both felt that we wanted to keep seeing each other when he got home after the New Year. Over the next week or so I couldn’t stop thinking about him and couldn’t wait for him to come home. Apparently he couldn’t stop thinking about me either - he decided to take a leap of faith and invite me to spend NYE in Michigan with his entire family. I said yes and for our fourth date, I flew to Michigan. I walked into his parent’s house to 18 Italians (9 were kids) waiting to meet me, but somehow I felt comfortable. His family was so welcoming and disarming. I spent the next 5 days getting to know him and his family and I loved every minute of the madness. We became “official” on NYE and went back to NC together on the 3rd.

Deciding to Get Married…

It was around 4 days later when we were sitting together on my Papa’s couch and I hinted to him that I loved him. He said he loved me too and we both already knew that we wanted to get married. I told him I wanted to get married on my Nana’s birthday (April 3rd) and we told our families a few days later. All the doors began opening for us to get married. Our families somehow were both fully on board and excited for us, I was able to get a custom dress in time, I booked the perfect venue, our pastor approved, and everything else fell into place from there. By January 17th we had most of our wedding planned. We flew to Arizona on January 26th for Travis to meet my friends and family, and for him to ask my dad & stepdad permission to marry me (they already knew about the wedding - my dad had even purchased my wedding dress by this point). He got a blessing from my parents and a few days later we flew to Florida to meet his family at Disneyworld for our nephew’s birthday. On February 4th he proposed with his grandmother’s ring and we were officially engaged! We started our 6 weeks of premarital counseling with our pastors and finished our wedding/honeymoon plans over the next 8 weeks.

On April 3rd, one day short of 4 months after our first date - we got married!

As I write this all out it may seem like our dating and engagement were a breeze; but in reality, although our relationship was easy and came very natural, I struggled a lot with fear and doubt. Marriage was scary to me, I haven’t seen many marriages work out in my life and I had a LOT of triggers bringing up trauma from past relationships. Walking through the healing was painful, but with the right person it was safe. Travis was patient, kind, gracious, and understanding when it came to my struggles.

I do believe that a lot of my trust in him came from us waiting to have sex until we were married.

I trusted that he truly cared for my heart, that he had strong convictions, respected boundaries, and would be a strong leader for our family.

Things got really hard at times, there were moments when I literally thought to myself: “it would be easier to be single than to be this vulnerable with someone”. And that’s true- being fully known is incredibly scary and it is easier to be alone than to be vulnerable. But being fully known and fully loved by someone is the most wonderful thing I’ve ever experienced. I am so grateful that I decided to be open and honest with Travis and that I chose to continue working through my fears instead of running away. Most of the time, the minute I voiced my fears and brought them to the light- they disappeared. Other times I needed a lot of communication and patience from Travis and a lot of prayer from close friends and family. God used our dating and engagement to bring up and heal a lot of my wounds, and the Lord continues to use our marriage to refine and heal me.

God’s design for marriage is perfect.

His timing is perfect.

No matter how far off something or someone may seem, we can trust the next chapter because we know the Author.

Thanks to the Lord, I went from 10 years of broken & toxic relationships to a 2 year period where I was saved and God began healing and refining me and preparing me for my husband. Then I went from a 3 month period of confusion, doubt and depression, to meeting and marrying the man of my dreams within 4 months. I believe that God used every moment leading up to us meeting to prepare us for one another. He knew exactly what we needed and when we needed it. I am constantly being shown that I have no reason to doubt God’s plans or His timing. Each season of doubt has been followed by reassurance and fulfilled promises. God has been so patient and gracious towards me, even through my constant impatience and questioning. He is patient with you, too.

My question for you is: what areas of your life are you not trusting God’s timing and plan for you?